FullaBella님의 저널, 2019년 01월 17일

Thursday - January 18th

This journal has almost nothing to do with Fat Secret or All Things Food. But it’s my journal and this is where I leave things to get them out of my head.

I will say, before I begin the unrelated topic, that I grew so fed up with the food I was wasting trying to ‘make’ my own healthy snacks that I purchased one prepackaged. “Just the Cheese” - bought it on Amazon. Delicious. Less than 1 carb per serving. Only about 75 cal per bar. Crunchy and good.

It was what I was trying to achieve trying to bake my own cheese, or stovetop cook it, or microwave, etc. And yeah, I just absolutely love cheese in the form it’s suppose to be but I was looking for some sort of crunch besides pork skins. Yay.

Now, onto the other. You may want to stop reading now.

My doctor, like all doctors these days I guess, has an app where you can sign in and check out your meds, diagnosis, latest labs, etc. I have had the app for a while but rarely use it. I kind of adapted a Bill Burr mentality: ‘All this time I thought I was just the patient, turns out I’m a freaking doctor too! Where’s my stethoscope?’ I just didn’t want to do that much heavy lifting after I’d already missed those 8 years of medical school.

However, insomnia got the best of me one night and I logged into the app. Mainly because as stupid as this sounds (Yes, I know, stoooopid) I didn’t connect that prescribing Metformin because my blood sugar was high meant I was diabetic. I thought there were more ‘things’ that would have to happen to get that diagnosis. I was wrong. Hey, I never claimed to be the sharpest knife in the drawer. Hence my not wanting to mess around with the medical app.

But there I was, 3am, wide awake, and I reset my password for the 20th time and go to my diagnosis page. I wanted to see what else I’d been missing.

I have a diagnosis that stumped me: congenital absence of vagina. I kid you not. Yes, you read that right. I lay there thinking, ‘whaaaaat?’ and a flood of one-liners hit me so fast I woke Mushy with my laughter.

“Hmmmm… maybe I should retrace my steps… where was the last place I had it?”
“Did I leave it at a hotel?”
“Does this explain why I rarely cry and hate romantic comedy chick flicks?”
“Is this why I’m able to parallel park?”
“I know it’s not in the fridge as I go there about 100 times a day.”
“Should I post a reward?”
“Why has no gyno ever told me this?”
“Can I have a refund on the birth control I bought back in the day?”
“Why didn’t Cutty ever tell me?”
“People kept telling me ‘use it or lose it’.... How right they were!”
And
“Those people who claim they’d lose their head if it wasn’t attached, boy, do I have news for them!”

And so on.

I’m sure it’s a weird diagnosis related to being postmenopausal but geez, did they have to put it that way? I haven’t asked my doctor about it because, even as I sit here typing this I have that ‘phantom limb’ situation going on where I’d swear I still have it.

Again, I know this has very little if anything at all to do with All Things Food but if you or someone you know lost theirs I’d appreciate knowing I’m not alone in this. It just goes to show, “just when you think you’ve heard it all...someone or something comes along to show you differently.”

119.7 kg 지금까지 감소한: 9.5 kg.    남은양: 38.1 kg.    다이어트 실행도: 합리적.

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2370 kcal

지방: 105.42g | 단백질: 154.22g | 탄수화물: 209.97g.   점심 식사: Teriyaki Sauce, Carrots, Mozzarella Cheese, Trader Joe's Just The Leaves of Romaine Lettuce, Wal-Mart Rotisserie Chicken. 저녁 식사: Cooked Beans with Pork. 간식/기타: Fiber One Protein One Peanut Butter Chocolate Bar, Glucerna Rich Chocolate Shake, Cauliflower , Olive Oil , Parmesan Cheese (Hard) , Bread Crumbs (Seasoned) , Just the Cheese Crunchy Baked Cheese. 더보기