Tuesday already? I tried to write a journal yesterday but my mood was in between:
and
But today I have the time while I update a new MP3 player; the old one wouldn't hold a charge for when I needed to leave the car or home. I almost stuck my fingers in my ear at the nail salon the other day to drown out the beep bop boop of other's phones and conversations. Seriously, go chatter at the coffee shop. This should be a quiet zone!
I know.. it's just cranky old me. I was that way on the tram at the Space Center that weekend. There was an audio playing explaining things about the tour and history of space travel and a woman sitting beside me was chattering to the people in her group behind her and before I knew it I blurted 'shut up I'm trying to listen!' I think the reason I'm still sitting upright and able to type this confession is she didn't speak English. Or couldn't hear me over her own yakking. Regardless, I know it was rude of me. I'm trying.
All things Food? Not the best, but not the worst. Birthday party Saturday ~ I wasn't so disappointed in myself for eating a sloppy joe, mac-n-cheese and cake with ice cream as I was for eating when I wasn't hungry.
I'd had one of those 'on the go' days and didn't feel I could wait to eat at the party but then ate there because I felt it rude 'not to'. That evening, sweating and feeling uncomfortable from feeling overstuffed, I revisited my 'taking care of me rules' on 'when to say no'. And I'm sure that was a contributor to another sleepless night.
Sunday we (Grace, BCF, and Blondie) went to brunch at the Cheesecake Factory and, well, what can be said about dining at a place that hits 3 of the top 9 least healthy dishes on a recent survey?
Click Here to Read the Article About the 9 WorstBlondie and I split a Monte Cristo .. thank goodness we split it as it's at least 1700 calories! Wowza, right?
I looked at that on Fitness Pal and thought 'no way' but when I started adding it up I had to admit, 'Yeah, way...' and remembered how I'd eat one all by myself years ago at Bennigans.. and that was deep fried instead of grilled. Lordy.
And we split an order of fries. Fries are my 'ice cream' and 'chocolate' lately. I can do without the sugar and sweet but bring on the carbo's I guess. Weird.
We went to see 'Menopause, the Musical' and all I can say is ... I haven't laughed that much, genuine belly laughing tears rolling down my face can't catch my breath laughter. If it ever comes near your world, GO. Do NOT let the 'musical' throw you - because I really don't like musical's myself but they set the conversations to hits from the 50's and 60's and .. well, you know what a crab I am (if not, reread the first couple of paragraphs here) and for me to give it this positive endorsement, by golly, it's just that good.
I always appreciate when you stop and visit with me and comment on my journal. Sunday was no exception. I have been reflecting on what you all shared as well. And I decided I didn't need to identify any ONE person who made me feel that bad - I would forgive them all and try to move on. With the awareness does come the opportunity to improve.
I have felt lighter and been dressing less 'constricted' the past two days. I'm going to try to stop punishing myself for not being whatever it is I think I should be, look how I should look, etc. I'm going to focus on being happy today. Mental health is just as important, actually... more important, than physical. I know they go hand in hand but when I'm in the cellar of self hate and depression.. well, it's a no brainer.
And with that, I think I'll go see how the 'tune transfer' is going. Hope you're all having a good week in your world.
Bella
