FullaBella님의 저널, 2013년 06월 10일

Monday again - where does the time go?

Yesterday was marathon motivational pep talk day. I bet even Tony Robbins would have broken a sweat if he'd been in my bathroom to witness that 6lb spike when I stepped on the scale. Though four pounds of it was gone this morning I'm still carrying two pounds of aggravated confusion. Maybe it'll be gone next week.

If Denial is a River.. I guess Refusal is the dam. I looked in the mirror and said 'I literally absolutely under no circumstances or terms whatsoever refuse to accept this gain as anything more than temporary. No. NO. N-O! I refuse. I am eating well and proportionally. There is no possible way I've taken in an excess of 20,000 calories to justify this gain simply because I haven't been logging my food.'

Logic and reasoning were both on deck with possibilities. 'Muscle weight? PMS? Fluid retention?' Maybe the 2lbs IS muscle weight considering they arm wrestled the ice cream out of my hand when the 'WTF' emotion tried to lead to it's natural partner: 'What's the Point?'

In the end I had to remind myself my goal was never a 'set weight' number. My goal is to eat healthy one day, one bite at a time. The rest of it would take care of itself.

So while I was relieved this morning I really hate that my confidence was shaken so easily but thankful my faith held strong enough to drown out the hysterical voice of doubt. Not sure how I would feel if that spike lasted two days in a row, though. I'd think about how to deal with it if it does but no sense building a bridge I may not have to cross.

So, up for auction to the first high bidder: 2lbs of unwanted, unexpected and unjustifiable gain. Any takers?

Didn't think so.

Bella